Where’s your Keeper?

This morning I was out doing my shopping at the local supermarket as one does from time to time. Towards the end of the tracking around the isles, in the fruit and vegs section, I met a friend of a neighbour who I have met on a number of occasions such as parties etc. as we were talking I was wondering why she was looking around like she was searching for someone and then she asked The Question. The question “who are you with? Are you with anyone?” and I could see what was going on in her head, which was if he is here on his own, what am I going to do. I can’t leave him.” I said “no, no one.“ OK, it was a little white lie as I had my personal assistant with me, who was a few metres away getting some carrots for me. I just wanted to see her reaction and make a point that, yes, I can go out without a blooming keeper! I could see the moment of panic and then my personal assistant piped up from the distance saying “liar!” Relief came over her face as we parted, yet, I gave my personal assistant a fowl dirty look as to say, why did you let them off the hook?

On times when I am truly out on my own, like at a festival or town etc, I am often asked if I am with someone, and by the way they ask you can tell that they mean where is your carer (or more likely, your keeper). I usually answer such questions by looking around and then saying that I am with myself, follow by returning the question back on them. They often then realise how strange the question is when they, mature adults, get asked the same question in the same way they had asked. Most people quickly understand to talk to me as they would to any other bloke.


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