One evening, I found myself in a thought-provoking conversation with some friends around my kitchen table. As we sipped our drinks and chatted about life's various aspects, the topic of personal achievement came up. I shared that I've had to fight for everything I've received in life, a statement that sparked an unexpected response from one of my companions.

"Darryl. You shouldn't have to fight," he said.

His words left me puzzled, and I've been mulling over their meaning ever since. There are two potential interpretations I've considered:

1. The Empathetic View: Perhaps he meant that given the challenges I already face due to my disability, I shouldn't have to argue for what I need. For instance, if I require a new piece of equipment to make my life easier, it should be provided without having to jump through hoops.
2. The Passive Approach: Alternatively, he might have been suggesting that I should be more passive in my approach. That if I'm told I can't have something I require, I should simply accept it and move on.

At the time, I leaned towards the second interpretation, which troubled me deeply. I tried to explain that if I were to adopt such a passive stance, I might very well be either dead or confined to some sort of care home by now.

The Reality of Disability

What struck me about this exchange was the apparent lack of understanding about the daily challenges faced by people with disabilities. It's not just about the physical limitations we encounter, but also the constant need to advocate for ourselves in a world that isn't always designed with us in mind.

Every day, we face battles that others might not even be aware of:

• Accessibility issues in public spaces
• Misconceptions and prejudices about our capabilities
• Bureaucratic hurdles in obtaining necessary support and equipment
• The emotional toll of constantly having to explain and justify our needs

The Importance of Self-Advocacy

While it would be wonderful to live in a world where everything we need is readily provided, that's simply not the reality for most people with disabilities. Self-advocacy isn't just a choice; it's a necessity. It's about:

• Ensuring our voices are heard
• Educating others about our experiences and needs
• Fighting for our rights and equal opportunities
• Pushing for societal changes that benefit not just us, but future generations

Reflecting on Misunderstandings

In hindsight, I wonder if perhaps my friend and I misunderstood each other a bit. Maybe he was coming from a place of concern, wishing that things were easier for me. And maybe I was too quick to assume he was suggesting passivity.

This experience has reinforced for me the importance of open dialogue about disability issues. It's through these conversations – even when they're uncomfortable or confusing – that we can bridge gaps in understanding and work towards a more inclusive society.

So, to my friend at the kitchen table and to anyone else who might wonder why we fight: We fight because we must, because every small victory improves our lives and the lives of others. And while it would be nice not to have to fight, until that day comes, we'll continue to advocate for ourselves and for what's right.